She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I could fuck to npr.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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