the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
