so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
