why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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