Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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