6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
