If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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