I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
