how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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