Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
