During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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