Need sex. Gaining weight.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
