..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
