I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Duck Duck Cougar?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
