Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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