4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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