Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
