She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
