hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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