Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize