What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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