You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
