people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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