When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
