Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
