is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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