drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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