There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
