Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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