Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
