I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
