you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
