He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
