hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
