There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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