i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I need a beard to bite.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
