I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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