What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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