I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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