Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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