wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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