Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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