we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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