Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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