Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
