I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize