May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
