But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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