I wanna bring you to show and tell
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
