THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
