I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
