Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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