I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
