I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize