So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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