i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
