idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize